A Trip to Africa, A Change of Heart
A few months ago, my son and I walked into a senior citizens center in Cape Town, South Africa, and were greeted with the soulful sounds of a song that I later learned meant, "Welcome."
The men and women, many in their 80s, sat at long tables and were stringing beads as they sang. With aging hands and tiring eyes, they threaded them one at a time onto long strands with great patience. Those hands, those beads held part of the future of their town.
Since 2009, I've been wearing a bracelet made in this very township. That was the year I met Lauren Gillis, who had a dream to change lives in Cape Town, where she lives.
You know those rare moments when you meet someone who seems to have a light inside? Someone who has an energy that makes you want to be around that person? My husband and I call them "pure people."
Lauren is one of those people. And while I've only been in her actual presence a few times, I feel her presence every day, whenever I look down at my wrist.
I wrote about Lauren briefly in a 2014 column, calling her a "spark" who was changing the world, one bead at a time. This is a continuation of the story of my bracelet and how I followed its thread to South Africa this past May.
This trip was not on my bucket list, and not just because I don't have a bucket list. I never really understood the allure. I would have been happy to watch Africa from afar on television or in epic movies.
And, I'll confess, I was afraid. But my fear, I now realize, was based in misperception. I saw mostly danger: dangerous animals, dangerous illnesses, dangerous governments. But now that I've been there, I realize my perception came from watching too much television and believing those epic movies. While I was there, I learned what an amazingly rich continent Africa is, full of possibilities and amazing landscapes and people.
The trip happened because I was asked to go on a speaking tour in Nigeria and South Africa for the Young Presidents Organization (YPO), which I've written about before. Founded in Rochester over 60 years ago, YPO is a leadership organization with chapters around the world. Its mission is to shape leaders through education and the exchange of ideas. I was honored to be chosen to share what I know about how leaders can present themselves with passion and stay true to their mission.
Planning for the trip spanned almost a year and included visa applications and lots of immunizations. That's when I got even more nervous. All you need is a trip to the Passport Health clinic to suddenly know way too much about the things you need to be scared about when going on an international trip. It was there I learned that, yes, there are lions to be afraid of, but they're big enough to avoid; it's the dangerous little mosquitoes that are harder to dodge.
But finally, fully inoculated and armed with lots of prescription medication, we began our trip. My son was my traveling companion. I brought him along because I thought it would be an amazing experience for him, and after his freshman year of college I figured it was a chance to get reacquainted—especially on that 15-hour plane ride. (He would now say he was brought along to do one thing: find my cell phone, which I constantly lose in my bag.)
We arrived in Cape Town, rightfully dubbed one of the most beautiful cities in the world. It really takes your breath away. The city is ringed by beautiful mountains on one side and ocean on the other. In the center is a wonder called Table Mountain.
The morning after our arrival, my first of five programs spanning a week took place on the 28th floor of the tallest building in Cape Town. I had epic jet lag and some surprises nobody told me about—in the middle of my presentation a cannon sounded (the noon gun on Signal Hill), and I jumped about two feet off the ground. But despite it all, it was an amazing day of female leaders sharing their stories, their missions and, most important, their hearts.
But it was the next day that really opened my eyes and heart. That's when we paid a visit to my friend Lauren's bracelet-making business, called Relate.
I first learned about Relate in 2009, when my husband chaired a Global Leadership Conference for YPO. I was looking for a gift idea for attendees that would also make a difference. We decided to order Relate bracelets based on our conference theme: possibilities.
Because we ordered so late, Lauren actually brought the 750 bracelets in a suitcase to the conference. They were an instant hit. Later, Lauren told me that the number of bracelets we bought meant a family living in poverty in South Africa would be able to eat for a year. My son bought more bracelets for his charity project for his bar mitzvah, helping another family.
Over the years, Relate grew bigger. It created branded bracelets for other causes in South Africa through sales at Woolworths and other retailers, selling more than 1.6 million bracelets worldwide. Since 2010, Relate has raised roughly $2 million while employing 300 people and supporting more than 60 causes, including breast cancer awareness, clean water and saving rare animals.
The Relate model works on so many levels. Those seniors we met would otherwise not have jobs in Cape Town, where unemployment is a staggering 26 percent. The young people who finish assembling the bracelets threaded by the seniors are paid not only in salary but in "up-skilling" education, to help prepare them for their chosen professions. Remember, apartheid ended only about 20 years ago—whole generations were held back from educational and job opportunities.
And the most amazing thing: Each bracelet costs about $3.50. That's it.
Lauren says she started Relate because she wanted to find a simple, affordable, handmade way to lessen the divide between the haves and the have-nots. She wanted to create opportunities for people in poverty that would give them the gift of self-reliance, dignity and hope. But most important, she wanted to fulfill her belief that "humanity has a deep need to be connected—to belong to something positive and uplifting."
In a country where so many have so little, the joyful sound of uplift erupted when we entered that senior center. It changed my perception of what I would find in a country where unemployment and poverty are rampant. Instantly, the sight and the sound brought me to tears.
Because these weren't unhappy people, dangerous people, people without hope. I had found joyous people. Productive people. People who asked us into their simple homes so they could share their stories with us.
My son and I were invited to sit and sing and thread the beads. And as we did, we communicated with our eyes and smiles and tears.
I looked at the bracelets already on my arm and I realized they were the true connection that brought me to Africa. I thought I had crossed the ocean to share my stories and help grow leaders through my knowledge. But instead, I was the one who grew, through a deeper understanding that it's sitting, singing, creating and laughing that truly connects us.
Two weeks later, a package arrived. My son opened it and yelled out: It was the two bracelets we had threaded in South Africa, with a picture of the two of us from that day on the packaging.
Now, when I look at my bracelets, I no longer look through a veil of misunderstanding. And I see how the small act of buying a bracelet can make a big difference in people's lives.
That gift is what my pure friend, Lauren, gave to me, and what she gives to the world, one bead at a time.
For more on Relate, including how you can order or customize bracelets, visit relate.org.za.
As first published in the Democrat and Chronicle and USA Today Network.